今天到底是怎么了?




今天放学后,
回到了外婆家,
开始做我想做的食物,
Then I did the meat.
But I couldn't concentrate.
Hubbie was in my mind.
I was doing the meat..
I keep thinking..
Hubbie..
Why can't I feel eur love..?
Why can't I feel that euu love me..?
So long le..
No surprises..
No present..
No nothing...
When was eur last present for me..?
Pigbit..?
Konglong..?
Haishh...
I wanted..
Just wanted eur love..
I know..
Euu sick..
And then we having exams..
I know it's very frustrating..
But I keep thinking of this...
Then my meat..
A lot thing forget put..
Soy sauce..
Salt also forget put..
Almost cut my hand..
In the end Ahma cut the garlic for me..
Then I rest..
Then I wanted to do things..
To forget Wut I was thinking..
But this suddenly pop out..
Is hubbie just using me?
Not loving me?
Then I sleep abit..
I woke..
Again..
My sleeping habit..
Usually 2 hours..
I really donno Wuts happening to me..
I sleep..
But I still feel restless..
I just feel like pulling hubbie just for me..
Not for others..
But..
I know..
Hubbie always have a distance with me.
Not once without.
Not physically.
Is emotionally..
I donno how to explain..
Then the meat ohkay le..
Tried..
Disgusting..
1 word.
Nothing else.
I just feel useless..
I wanted to talk to hubbie.
But hubbie don care me..
Cos quarrel..
Then wanna fight for useless thing..
Donno is purposly wanna push me away or Wut..
Haishh..
I cried..
Alone..
I know..
Irritating..
Everything wanna cry..
I just..
Felt weak..
First time..
WEAK.
Back home..
I tot of a lot of things..
It gives me a solution..
Hubbie don love me anymore.
Everything fits.
Noway more to explain.
I donno Wut to do about it.
Hubbie..
If euu see this..
Don talk to me..
Think about it..
Do euu love me..?
I love euu.
If I don,
I won't care how euu feel..
But..
Do euu care about how I feel?
Or do euu feel this relationship as a court?
After serve,
All eur problems throw to another court,
Then none of eur business until the ball comes back?
Euu really feel this..?
Hubbie..
I can't tahan it..
I felt so alone..
So empty..
See all my subjects..
So lousy..
Scare I can't promote..
Haishh..
Then we will drift even further..
Haishh..
Please..
Hubbie..
Tell me Wut to do..?
I miss euu..
I miss euu hugging me..
How long le..?
Euu never auto hug me unless I hug euu first..
I donno Wut to do..
Hubbie please..
I beg euu..
Do something to save me..
Please...
Nite.. :'<





-Chloe.
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