Things changed a lot.
Mei dead.
In my hands.
It became an impact.
I really.
Really have no more confident that,
my kid would be safe with me anymore.
I am just so useless.
Have xiaoxiao..
Jiu neglect meimei.
I didn't even check how to save,
a rabbit during emergency.
I really am a useless mamie.
I failed.
Failed to protect my kid from suffering.
I failed to keep my kid safe.
I failed..
God see my attitude towards her,
God pekchek..
God took her away..
Meimei..
Just die in my arms.
That moment.
When she is dead.
My heart almost drop.
I lost my feet.
I kept screaming for meimei's spirit to come back,
It didn't happen.
That moment,
She left.
I cried,
Not because she left me,
I cried,
Because I said hubbie always neglect me.
Yet..
I didn't know how was the feeling that being neglect was first,
Can't speak about it to me was second,
And a few days before she die I said,
she was attention seeker.
I cried,
Because I finally realise,
She is important to me,
Because I realise,
She is not only a pet,
She is my child..
From the moment I carried her,
To that moment she left,
She left her life with me.
We can say forget feed her,
But do I know Wut was the feeling of being hungry one whole day?
Do I know Wuts the feelings of being at home one whole day rotting?
Cos I always out,
So I always like my time being alone.
But all she stay was at the cage.
Can't let her out cos she poop and pee at daddie's bed.
She is doing all this..
Just to get my attention.
Oh god..
Meimei..
Please..
The moment when she let her life be mine,
Why didn't I get ready..?
Why didn't I notice the food was bad?
She choked,
Vomited,
Yet I can't do anything,
When she was giddy,
Lying on my bed,
Why did I angry with daddie and throw her on bed?
I am a idiot mamie,
I don even fit to be her mamie.
When she left..
How I confirmed?
I accidentally touch her eyes,
She didn't close,
I could feel her eye ball.,
Meimei.
If euu can't read this anywhere,
My bit..
I miss when I feed euu bread on four sides,
And I eat the middle..
I miss when I lie down euu come and lick me.
I miss when I shouted at euu,
Euu stopped,
Euu understood I was paying attention to euu.
I miss..
When I shake the food just to trick euu out and then don feed euu.
I miss euu..
Mei..
If god gimme me one more chance,
I swear I would treat euu right,
My xiaoqingxie.
My bitbit.
God will treat euu well..
Right?




-Chloex
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